Let’s talk about P.A.N.T.S.

When I was a kid, I was a pro at binge watching. You know what I binge watched? Arthur. The best show starring an aardvark as a lead role in 2010— but, I digress.

In Arthur, I remember there being an episode where Arthur and his class were taught the meaning of P.A.N.T.S as an acronym. It was something along the lines of “Patience, Attentiveness…” etc. etc. However, Arthur and his class were horribly, undoubtedly, fantastically lied to; P.A.N.T.S as an acronym is not a tool filled with motivational and positive words. Nay, tis’ evil to the core.

Now, in 2017, I have realized the true meaning of P.A.N.T.S; painful annoying nuisance that sucks. What does this describe, you might ask? Only the most demonic torture device ever forced upon a little over 50% of humanity. Pants, I am talking about pants (if you haven’t already guessed). More specifically I am talking about pockets. If there is one thing consumers of women’s fashion can agree on, it is that the pockets are always too damn small (or do not exist). It doesn’t help that tech companies keep enlarging the size of their phones.

To prove the heinous crime that is the existence of these pockets, I did a little experiment; I asked my brother to see how many items he could fit in his jeans pocket and I did the same. Below are the results:

Little Bro

  • house keys, phone, wallet, pocket hand sanitizer, phone charger (just the wire), and headphones

Me

  • half my phone

Do you feel my pain? Every time I sit down my phone falls out of my pocket. Every time I lament over misplacing my metro card, my I.D., or my wallet and someone responds with ‘Well why don’t you put it in your pocket?’, I feel the universe trolling me.

But there is a bigger, more notorious motive behind the size of my pockets. Companies that produce pants intentionally decrease the size of pockets in order to fuel the market for bags. Nowadays, bags are an accessory whose market heavily targets women. They create a demand for bags by reducing the number places women have to carry their necessities. If I had pockets like that of my brother’s pants, then I wouldn’t need a bag; I only carry my keys, phone, and wallet when I’m on the go. But by creating a need for bags as a necessity and an ideal beauty accessory, big women’s clothing producers like Zara, H&M, and Forever 21 fuel their own markets.

This goes to show that even if I or you or anyone else defines beauty as an experience and not just a factor of appearance, we still may buy into certain materialistic “beauty” fads out of a consumer need rather than a want.

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